“The moon did not become the sun.
It just fell on the desert
in great sheets, reams
of silver handmade by you.
The night is your cottage industry now,
the day is your brisk emporium.
The world is full of paper.
Write to me.”
- Agha Shahid Ali
Miguel - Simple Things
September 25, 2013
Today we sat in the car and you admitted that you were upset. I don’t understand you and never will, so I sat and listened to my favorite songs. You told me to show you my favorite love song, I did, but explained how someone had already ruined it for me. I found one that hadn’t been ruined, and you asked if you could ruin it for me and you kissed me.
October 1, 2013
You are like sunshine and I tell you that every time you kiss me and I giggle. Sometimes, the idea of “us” is a really bad idea. It probably is, but sometimes those real bad ideas are the best ones. I think I’m going to stop smoking cigarettes because your lips are the only nicotine I need these days.
October 9, 2013
You feel like you’re wasting my time. I would waste my whole life with you and I would be okay with that.
October 23, 2013
I don’t like it when you say that you have bad news. I knew something was wrong today when I kissed you, and we sat by that river, and kissed a whole lot. You kissed so desperately— I should have known and I should have kissed you more and harder. I didn’t know it would be our last kiss for a while.
You said you didn’t like me and that you just wanted me sometimes.
That hurt a lot, but I think you are lying.
November 1, 2013
We talk like we are strangers now. I don’t know how to act around you. It’s hard when I like you so much and you don’t like me. I am trying to get over it, I really am. I guess the hardest part about moving on is when you’re not so sure you want to.
You made me tell you everything that was on my mind and I said sometimes I wished we were still together. You didn’t.
This is why I don’t tell anyone anything anymore.
November 14, 2013
I have started smoking again.
November 20th, 2013
I never understood why in the Bible He said, “God gave us light but instead humans chose darkness,” but then that night when hid from the cold winter weather and were entangled in nothing but sheets, I knew I would choose you over the sun any day, and that was very dark thing to do. I want to be here for you, and I am patient, but by doing this I am breaking my own heart again.You said you wished we could be like that all the time— not naked, but where we just talk and don’t fight. I do, too, but I am realizing it is impossible.
December 10, 2013,
I think you are gone for good and I miss you in waves and it hurts like Hell, let me tell you. I went out with another boy, and he was very nice. I took him to the bookstore and it made me miss you a lot, and I am afraid when he kissed me goodnight all he could taste was your name.
December 15, 2013,
You said you missed me. I said nothing, instead I went home, cried, and listened to one of the mixed CDS you made for me. I miss you, too. I want to try to quit smoking again.
December 29, 2013
I should be happy, but I sort of just feel like drowning. I wonder if you are awake right now, too.
January 25, 2014
I called you, and I am glad you did not answer. I think all this time I have been in love with the idea of you. I think I miss the person I wished you could be rather than you.
February 17, 2014
I met somebody, and I think you guys would be good friends. He asks to kiss me, too. He’s funny and compliments me and says I should never apologize for being myself. I like that he doesn’t always correct me or find things about me that annoy him and tell me. I don’t fight with him, either. He’s filling that empty space that was left when you decided to give up and walk away.
March 2, 2014
Thank you for letting me go.